Ok so I failed to acheive face to facebook tonight, and possibly will fail for the rest of the month. Sincere apologies if anyone turned up but I am currently at maximum stress, largely as a result of my inability to prioritise as i think more or less everything in my life is of equal importance.
Seriously though, I have a ridiculous amount on at the moment. So much so that just going to the supermarket tonight to buy some food for tea was nothing short of a horrifying ordeal. I must be studying too much modernist literature, but I was listening very carefully to my own stream of consciousness whilst I was buying stuff.
It went like this.
Going to Tesco, damnit I really need the toilet, I should have gone before I left the house, well it's too much hassle to go back now, I can always go to the toilet in the pub on the way if it gets really urgent. Maybe I should just do that anyway even if it isn't really urgent, then again that's a bit rude what if someone says something? - though I do know where the toilets are in Beirex it wouldn't be that difficult, well I am nearly there now better just go and get the falafel quickly. Falafal falafal where the hell is falafal, oooh reduced goods, marinade for seafood that looks nice, and it is reduced, I shouldn't really buy that with my flatmate's money, I'm sure she won't mind though - perhaps I don't have to tell her, I think she owes me £3 anyway. Cucumber, pears, really need the loo, where the hell would falafel be. Should it not be with hummous and other poncy salad type foods? that would make sense, nope, what about other food you just shove in the oven. No it's not there. Fuck why the hell is this basket broken, well I'm not getting another one, shit now the handle is caught in my poncho - I just can't deal with this, too many other things to do than have basket handles stuck in my poncho. I should just ask the dude where the falafal is, I can't though, I can't be that person, someone in a poncho in tesco metro asking where falafel is. He will think I am the biggest most predictable cliche,well I guess that predictability is the definition of cliche, well ok, so I can't find it anywhere and I have been here ages now. What are these two guys doing they just seem to walk around the supermarket aisles slowly,exactly infront of me, about 2 paces ahead.Don't they have any sense of urgency? I really need the toilet. Oh well, no falafel, but wait a minute who needs falafel when you can have 2 chocolate puddings for £1.60!!!......... My flatmate. Chocolate puddings don't constitute dinner, or tea even. I will buy them anyway. I can't face this, I just can't think of anything else to eat for dinner - oh well better ask this guy - but how to phrase it in such a way that doesn't make me seem like a poncho vegan hippy sterotype ' Umm I have been sent out for falafel, is there falafel?' very good, you almost sounded like you don't know what falafel is, with the Yorkshire accent you will definately counter the poncho effect of the middle class vegan hippy sterotype. Do you think he really cares?! - how self absorbed. The last packet ."That's really great, thankyou so much" way to thank, you sound like he just saved the life of your child by offering up his bone marrow and all he did was find falafel. Still though - damn this stupid basket.
Self serve, I hate that machine but the que is shorter, unexpected item in the baggage area!! I have too much to do and I put it in the fucking bag, I don't even want a bag - bet you didn't expect that you stupid machine. This marinade is only 20p cheaper that really isn't a good saving at all. Finish and pay - yes for fucks sake I said yes I will yes.
Joyce eat your heart out. My apologies for the failure of face to face book but my life is very stressful just now, though writing that nonsense was indeed theraputic.
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